Sirf Meri !!

जिंदा हैं हम सिर्फ उनके दीदार के लिए
और एक वोह हैं जो परदे में रहना पसंद करते हैं...

हम वोह हैं जो उनकी एक हसी पे यह सारा जहां न्योछावर कर दें
और एक वोह हैं जो अपनी एक झलक के लिए हमें  तडपाते हैं ...

क्या रहा है हमारे पास जिसके लिए कुर्बान हो जाएँ
बस वोही तो थी जो हर पल हमारी जान ले जाती थी...

उनसे नज़रें हटाऊ तो गुमसुम हो जाता हूँ आज भी मैं
और एक वोह हैं जो अब किसी और की आँखों के नूर सी सजी हुई दिखती हैं...

क्या तारीफ करूँ उनके हुस्न की ..आज भी अलफ़ाज़ कम पड़ जाते हैं..
मोतियों से शब्द चाल बदल जाते हैं...

समझ नही आता .. वक़्त की मजबूरियों से सीखे या हमारी गलतियों से ..
की आज भी ....  हम उनकी राह के पत्थर साफ़ किये जा रहे हैं..

अब तो चार कदम बढाने की हिम्मत भी नही होती.
बस एक दर्द का एहसास सोचकर ... उनके सपने उतारे जा रहे  हैं...

अब तो उस पल का इंतज़ार है हमें जब सांस भले ही ना होगी पर तुम होगी मेरे करीब ,
जब आंसू भले ही नही आयें..पर तुम आओगी मेरी आँखें पोछने..

जब मिलेंगे हम  उन चाँद सितारों के बीच और यह ज़माने की भीड़ ना होगी..
जब खिलेंगे फूल और मुस्काएगी ज़िन्दगी और यह ग़मों की बरसात ना होगी...

मिलेंगे एक दिन .. यह वादा है तुमसे मेरा..
और उस दिन तुम मेरी होगी.. सिर्फ मेरी... !!!

Hey.. Its Train !!

Hi Folks,

Its been a long time to talk with you and share my any unusual experience with life.
So Here I am with another post to share my recent travelling experience by Indian Railways...

Well , I often get chance to go out with my family on a vacation and
recently I went to my relative's place by train after 6 long years and that quite made me nostalgic.
You will feel lot of difference travelling by train instead of Plane.

In Airport , we used to face a Clean (Cleaners are good and getting paid well) , Sophisticated (High profile people) and Touchy(due to touch screens) kind of environment.
While in typical Indian Railway Station we used to face a very warm (No AC, no proper Fans, No vacant seats) , Dusty (smoke here and there) and Spicy ( lot of samosas,pakodas stalls) kind of environment.

So the people travelling in both means of transport also differs,
In Airport you will find some kind of Stary ( people who just stares you but not say a single "Hi" or smile at you), some kind of Delicate( people who can't hold a single Bag and need a trolley or a person for that),
some kind of uneducated ( people who are not so good in mathematics and will give 1000 bucks for a 100 bucks thing), some kind of lonely stoned (people who pass their time in reading newspapers or novels instead of spendling time with their near ones)
etc . etc.

While in Railway station , you will find other kind of indian species.. some kind of weight lifters(who can carry 4 Bags , 2 suitcases and a one tiny little water bottle without dropping a single drop),
some kind of fashionable (who can carry above stuff still maintain to look good) , some kind of friendly (who love to talk to any stranger in such a loud voice that even other strangers will also join them specially if it is related to Cricket or Politics),
Some kind of talented people(who can bear dust,smoke,shit ,smell etc lying on stations or trains) etc etc

Well, my 3 hours journey by Plane gave me a sleepy mood, vomiting sensation, bored perspective and a little bit headache but my 6 hours journey by Train gave me
some interesting points and freedom to do stupid things which I would like to share now :

So while travelling by train , you can do following things to pass ypur time during journey and nobody will throw you out...

1) You can share lot of stories in train with the person sitting next to you even he/she is sleeping.
   A Good listener and a good speaker both will be warmly welcomed.

2)You can listen your old MP3 songs and pretend to get asleep or you can wait to listen a remix version of your songs free of cost by bunch of people usually come once in 2 hours in train.

3) You can stare any good or bad looking Guy or Girl and wait for any type of Hint from other side and
If you are doing a long journey, then you will get enough time to play your cards and get his/her number if you are lucky enough.

4)You can play with any kid (mostly there will be lot in your compartment) who will not cry until you ask for his favourite chips.

5)You can start your friendly Matrimonial side business too, people are so interested to hook up 2 idiots.. So do have a list of all your single Cousins or Cousin's cousins.

6)You can read magazine , books and pretend to be a Book worm type until you get distractions from Chanaa - moongfalli Chat sellers.

7) You can actually "THINK" about your past , imagine dreamy future or all other stupid things you wanna do after completing your journey.

8)You can take a small walk also from your seat to dirty toilet and from dirty toilet to your seat while taking a glance of girls/guys/Aunties/Uncles you might wanna talk or not to talk.

9)You can gossip and can say any crazy stupid thing and I can assure you that no one will throw you out and may be join you instead.

10) You can stretch on empty seats and be like owner of Train and let people smell your dirty sweaty socks.

11) Or last you can "Write" like me on a half teared small piece of paper while sitting on a corner seat and let people assume you as a Crazy moron writer.

So here are the 10 Best things you can do in train and proud for being an INDIAN.

Cheers !!

"Kam Saamaan , Safar Aasaan" :D

A Crazy Motivational Voice

Hey Beautiful girls and those Handsome Hunks,

I was sitting down there this evening , and I was wondering what am I doing here in my life, Is that what I really want ? Is that I always have been looking for ? or Is that what I meant to be ?.Then I stood up and look at myself in mirror and questioned Who am I ? What I suppose to be ?and What I gonna do in this life ?. Many answers hit me on my head and most of them confused me, Many questions make me unanswered.
Then I decided , that I am not gonna make this life like this, I will do it what I really want , I will make plans to go out , talk someone randomly , learn guitar , travel places and just BE MYSELF.
I will not let anyone screw up my life and take me granted as what I was doing in my past years.

Listening to other people , listening to my Boss and listening to those strange people who are no way concern of me , So now Its my turn to show it up , its  my turn to gear up my life and fly. Its really my turn to blow up those fucking idiots of my life and screw them up until they see Hell.

I think, You all have wondered sometime to say  these things someday to yourself and just want to leave everything and do whatever you wanna do whether it is a crazy piece of Shit.
So why you stopped yourself ? Why you let others to push you ? Why you did not stand up and gave a tight slap on those annoying faces? and Why you just let the things go on as the way they came up to you.

Its really inside you to make the things more in your life, to behave in a way you want to be and to be just YOU.Don't ever listen to person unless he owns you , Listen to your heart and do the things you ever want to do. Simply just DO IT.

Future is not in your hands and the moment you are thinking about it is also leaving from you , so don't act like a stupid and letting your present to go. Live your life , Its only yours.
Nobody owns you better than you .. So do the crap you are  meant to be.

And here is a crappy guy or girl whatever you wanna imagine is signing off.

Note - Sorry for the language for those who are damn sincere about words , But anyways If you get an idea , Then why the hell are you sitting in front of computer and reading this Blog.

Move On Dude !!

"Well , It was a motivational voice came up inside me and Don't ask me from where.. But yeah It made me to stand up and take a look on my life ".

Cheers.

Kuch khaas hai ismein..

यह हवा ... कुछ ख़ास है इसमें...

एक एहसास है इसमें..

हलके से छूती हुई एक प्यास है इसमें..

यह हवा ... कुछ ख़ास है इसमें...

वोह अन्दर आती हुई कुछ कह जाती है

संग अपने कितनी यादों को ले जाती है...

यह हवा ... कुछ ख़ास है इसमें...

धुन्धती हुई कोई ठिकाना एक चेहरा बदहवास है इसमें..

किनारे पे बैठा वोह लड़का उदास है इसमें..

यह हवा ... कुछ ख़ास है इसमें...

दिल की बातें सब समझ जाती है यह

फिर चुपके से किसी के आने का पैगाम दे जाती है

यह हवा ... कुछ ख़ास है इसमें...

कुछ अच्छा होगा ऐसा आभास है इसमें

अपनों से मिलने की एक मिठास है इसमें

यह हवा ... कुछ ख़ास है इसमें...

ख़ुशी के पलों मुस्कुराती हुई आती है यह

हस्ती खिलखिलाती  हुई एक सुकून दे जाती है यह

यह हवा ... कुछ ख़ास है इसमें...

What should I write...

Hi Readers,

From sometime , I was wishing to write something good, a really good thing which can make everyone happy and cheerful. But don't know why .. was not able to find any nice topic around me.
Daily routine life makes your thinking very monotonous and you just wonder or wait for something to be happen good for you. but during this phase , we actually forget the moment spending with others and how to make it cheerful in this materialistic life.

Then I start finding any nice , happy moment around me to write in this post and I get confused.
I  still have not decided , which moment should I post here when I felt totally blessed in my life and felt top of the world.

Should I write about my best friend who called me everytime in response of my short sms to her , "Hi , kaisi hai , miss u ".just to know what is going on in my mind and make me feel better,

or should I write about that lady who created me ... always had right guess about what I was hiding from others from my voice sitting 2000 kms far away and then made me strong enough to let it go. ,

or should I write about my roomies who try  to make me smile by making weird faces,jokes specially when I had tough day and make sure will not have tough night,

or should I write about that person  who belongs to big part of my life.... daily call me just to ask " Am I alright ?" and hang up the phone after 1 minutes.

or should I start writing about my chatting friend who always ping me even when I am not in a mood to talk and then make me to talk for hours..

or should I begin my conversation about my old school friend  who daily sms me and never complaint about not to be answered . What should I write in this post ?

There are so many things around you and me for which we never give a second thought,and keep on running behind those materialistic things, our dreams but our actual little dreams lie with these people who care about you , who think about you and the moments spend with them.
I know all days will not be on your side but you can  make your side Brighter .

Wish you Cheerful Dreams , Happy Moments ahead.

Life without Electricity !!!

 Hi Readers,

Its been a long time to talk with you all. Yesterday , I was in my room busy with as usual stuff .. 

reading some book, talking to friend etc .. My roomies were also busy with their own daily chores .

We all four stay together in one room but sometimes we didn't get time to talk to each other because of our commitments to work, family etc.

It was usual evening going on and then suddenly electricity went off. We felt disturbed for some time 

We passed time for few minutes , but after some time Our Mobile , laptops switched off due to low battery.

Now a simple question rises in front of us : What to do now ?

We four saw each other faces in Dark room with a smile ( They were almost visible for me :D ) and noded our heads.We started our daily girls gossipping in full mood on different topics like historic buildings, Sunday plans, New trends in fashion etc.

After passing few hours , again same question came in our mind : What to do Now ?

This time one of my excited roomie (who will be always ready to do  crazy stuff ) decided to play antaakshari with crazy loud wild songs.

 It really become a funny evening for us , we were singing , shouting, making unusual sounds, jumping and enjoying with each other.

It reminds me of my 2 years back college hostel life  when we used to have such fun with each other, singing loud songs in dark places, whistling,

Talking about our everyday crushes (that was hot topic for us :D ) , Drawing imainations about future, making daily plans , breaking daily plans,etc.

It was life full of fun , excitement, passion, peace and yeah love too.

I realized that in today scenario , it become fun to stay without electricity sometimes, 

Otherwise we will stay busy with our work , etc and live a stressful life.

You can become anything what you want to be if your friends are around you.

You can be crazy , scare anyone , laugh on anybody.. who gonna see you in dark room :D

So Go Guys, switch off your lights for some time , leave those busy cell phones , leave those laptops , leave those workplaces 

and Have FUN with your best friends... Life is to live fully and happily. 

Cheers,

"Maine Tumhe Dhundh Liya"

"Arey Kisi ko  yeh address pta hai ?" , puchte hue ek aadmi raaste pe jaa raha tha. Lagbhag 50 saal ka , lambha,kaale baal jismein se ab safed baal jhalakne lage the. Bhagta hua ek road ke corner pe aake hataash sa khadha ho gya aur phir ek ladhke se pucha ,"Arey beta ,yeh address pta hai ?" .Us ladhke ne haath se ishaara karte hue raasta btaaya aur bus mein baith kar chala gya...

Woh aadmi apni mazil ki taraf chalta hua, Park pahunch gya.Uske pair bhaari ho rahe the aur man dubaa jaa rha tha par aaj use wahan jaana hi tha kuch dhundhne ke liye, kuch paane ke liye...

Park ka gate uske saamne tha, usne halke se khola aur charo taraf dekha, bahut sundar park tha woh.Har taraf shaanti, fool khile hue the , Bacche khel rahe the, kuch log baithe the, kuch chal rahe the.har taraf chahal pahal hote hue ek shanti thi wahan.

Tabhi usne ek Fountain dekha, woh aaj bhi waisa tha ,22 saal pehle bhi woh is jagah pe aata tha,Aaj bhi uska safed chamakta hua pathar us se kuch keh rha tha.Woh aadmi wahin [e hi baith gya and apni aankhein band kar li ... "Papa, dekho  main aa gya , ab pakdo mujhe" . Ek Baccha khelte hue nazar aaya use, kitna khush tha woh suke saath jaise use saari duniya mil gyi ho.

"Arey aap yahan kaise, bade dino baad aapko yahan dekha Sharma ji " , kehti hui ek aaurat uske paas aake baith gyi. Woh bas itna hi keh paaya , " Kuch dhundhne aaya hun aaj". Tabhi ek ball aate hue pairo se takraa gyi aur ek maasom sa baccha paas aake ball maangne lagaa. Usne haste hue us bacche ko ball waapas kar gyi aur phir apne sapno mein kho gya , " Papa, dekho main chup gya, ab dhundho mujhe" .

Kuch saal pehle bhi usne ek sapna dekha tha , " Papa, main jaa rha hun, aap apna khyaal rakhna, main jald hi waapas aaunga ", Kahaa tha uske bete ne jaate hue. India-Pakistan ka yudh tha woh aur uske bete ko seema paar jaana tha apne desh ke liye,apni dharti ke liye.
Aansu to the uski aankhon mein par unhein jhalkane nhi diya aur ba sitna hi kahaa, " Main Tumhara intezaar karunga , Beta".

Aaj subah chai pite hue , bas tahalne nikla tha ki tabhi newspaper mein dekha , " Apni bahaduri se desh ke sewaa karte hue , Major Sumit Sharma, Major Ramkishan, Major Abdul Rehman........ shaheed ho gye".
Aage ke naam to woh padh hi nhi paaya , Use to bas ek hi naam pta tha , Uski jaan to ek hi  thi jo ab is duniya se gyaab ho gyi. Aage likha tha , "Sharadhanjali dene ke liye, 2 din baad unke gharwaalon ko India Gate bulaaya jaayega".Woh wahin pe baith gya aur uske kadam chal padhe the is park ki taraf kyunki aaj phir se uska beta kahin chupaa baitha tha aur usne dhundhnaa tha.

Woh uth khadaa hua aur bolaa, " Maine tumhe dhundh liya beta, Maine tumhe dhundh liya beta us hasti hui bacchi mein , us khelte hue chote chote kadamo main jinhe kisi ka dar nhi, jinki tum rakshaa karte the aur safal bhi hue"...

"Main tumhe dhundh liya us maa ki aankhon mein jise pta hua uske bacche waapas sahi salaamat ghar aayenge..."

"Main tumhe dhundh liya us ladhki mein jo khule aakash mein saans le rahi hai aur khush hai..."

"Main tumhe dhundh liya..."

"Main tumhe dhundh liya... "

"Yes", I Love You...

An old lady attending a funeral.She has a piece of paper in her hand standing in the corner and
just waiting for her turn to say her last word of Bye to the person sleeping in front of her

and she begins..........
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Yes" I Love you..
even you never call me,

"Yes" I Love you..
even you never say a word to me,

"Yes" I Love you..
even you don't care about me,

"Yes" I Love you..
even you hurt me every time,

"Yes" I Love you..
even you hate me,

Now What if I Love you , I care for you , I feel for you and I can even die for you...

It was Dark night with a moon shining on it  and
I was sitting alone on a beach silently watching the waves coming to  me ( as the first whisper we had some time ago)
and going far away (as the first time I felt left behind) . These words of yours ("Yes", I Love you) are still surrounding me everywhere.
"Yes", you are there with me , "Yes",you are there around me and "Yes" you are holding my hand...

I still remember everything what you  have done for me ...

It was yesterday when we had first kiss and I covered my face under your shoulder...

It was yesterday when you took my hand and we said " I DO" and people say it happened 30 years back...

It was yesterday when we had first honeymoon and I surrendered myself completely into you...

and "Yes" , It was yesterday when we had fight and my whole world has become upside down..

You never turn back from me , You never hated me and you never let me down...

Now What if I say you to come back, If I say you to hug me , If I say you to love me and "Yes" if i say you to stay with me forever...

It was only you who made my life complete or I would say you are my life....

Come Back Home dear...
Come Back Home....

Its your home...Its only Yours.....
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
and She left the place...with a smile.....on the way to her home...

Mujhe apna banaa lete ho...

Din Guzarta hai, Shaam aati hai...
Hum chalte hain aur tabhi tum haath thaam lete ho....

Humari dhadhakanein badhti hain , tum pass aate ho..
Hum ro padhte hain aur tabhi tum aansu poch lete ho..

Hum has dete hain , sab kuch bhul jaate hain..
Hoth ruk se jaate hain aur tabhi tum gale lagaa lete ho...

Hum tumhe dekhte hain, Tum humein dekhte ho..
Baatein ho rahi hoti hain aur tabhi tum mujhe apna banaa lete ho...

Mujhe apna banaa lete ho...

Yaadon ke panne...

Kyun aaj yaadon ke panne palat rhi hun main...
Kaun shaksh chupaa hai inmein...
Kaun ek raaz liye hue baitha hai inmein...
Aaj waqt bas chale jaa rha hai aur apne mein hi simat rahi hun main....

Kyun aaj yaadon ke panne palat rhi hun main...
Kya tha jo nhi mila tha..
Kya nhi hai jisko dil dhundh rha hai...
Aaj har tasveer mujh se sawal kar rhi hai aur unke jawab soch rhi hun main...

Kyun aaj yaadon ke panne palat rhi hun main...
Us shaam ka nazara abhi bhi aankhon mein basa hai..
Woh chehra puraana ab bhi dikhai deta hai...
Aaj shaam dhalne ko hai aur ret ki tarah fisal rhi hun main..

Kyun aaj yaadon ke panne palat rhi hun main...
Baat karne ka koi bahaana nhi hota tha..
Saath chalne ke liye sir jhukaana nhi hota tha..
Aaj kal chal to rhi hai zindagi aur akeli sirf khadi hun main..

Ek muskuraahat....

Ek muskuraahat.......

Kya hoti hai yeh ek muskuraahat...

Kisi ke aane se kaise aa jaati hai yeh ek muskuraahat..
kisi yaadon ko dil mein rakhe hue kyun bikhar jaati hai yeh ek muskuraahat..

Jaane kaun se raaz chipaaye rehti hai yeh ek muskuraahat...
Na jaane kitne gum dabaaye rehti hai yeh ek muskuraahat...

saare dard apne sang le jaati hai yeh ek muskuraahat..
sab ko khushi mein dubaa jaati hai yeh ek muskuraahat...

kabhi totli bhaasha mein muskuraati hui aati hai yeh ek muskuraahat...
kabhi ek  dusre ko chedhte hue dil mein bas jaate hai yeh ek  muskuraahat...
aur kabhi zindagi ki dhup mein kuch pal chawn ke de jaati hai yeh ek muskuraahat...

Kisi sawal ka jawab ban jaati hai yeh ek muskuraahat...
Kisi dost ke naam pe dikh jaati hai yeh ek muskuraahat...

Pardon mein chipi hui si hasi ko ek roop de jaati hai yeh ek muskuraahat....
sagar ki lehron ke aane ka andesha bhi to de jaati hai yeh ek muskuraahat....

Ek nanhi si kali ka khwaab hoti hai yeh ek muskuraahat...
Ek bejaan insaan ki jaan hoti hai yeh ek muskuraahat..

Kabhi baarish ki halki boondon to kabhi sardiyon ki dhup ban kar aati hai yeh ek muskuraahat...
Kabhi sapna ban kar to kabhi apna ban kar sab kuch keh jaati hai yeh ek muskuraahat...

Surkh hooton par dulhan si saji hui lagti hai yeh ek muskuraahat...
ek dabi hui si hasi ko payaam de jaati hai yeh ek muskuraahat...

Kaale panne pe safed kiran si lagti hai yeh ek muskuraahat..
Andheron ko mitta kar ujala de jaati hai yeh ek muskuraahat...

Khudha ki rehmat ban kar aati hai yeh ek muskuraahat...
Dil ki gheraaiyon se nikal kar bikhar jaati hai yeh ek muskuraahat....

Dua karte hain hum tum sadaa muskuraate rahe..
kyunki hamari zindagi hai tumhari yeh ek muskuraahat...

a zindagi....

a zindagi tu kaise kaise imtihaan leti hai
Kaun sa dard hai tujhe jo sajaa humein deti hai
Tere liye to hum jeete hain
Tere liye to hum marte hain
Saans ruk jaayegi ek din aise zulm deti hai
a zindagi tu kaise kaise imtihaan leti hai.....

a zindagi tu kaise kaise imtihaan leti hai
Raaston se joojhte hue humein gumnaam kar deti hai
naa koi saath deta hai
naa koi humsafar banta hai
apne aap to bhul jaayein aise payaam deti hai
a zindagi tu kaise kaise imtihaan leti hai.....

a zindagi tu kaise kaise imtihaan leti hai
Dil se jise chaaho use tu badnaam kehti hai
naa to pyaar rehta hai
naa to ehsaas rehta hai
ek chubhan liye hue bas dhokhe de jaati hai
a zindagi tu kaise kaise imtihaan le jaati hai.....

a zindagi tu kaise kaise imtihaan le jaati hai
kuch naa kar paaye agar to jaan le jaati hai
naa dard rehta hai phir
naa dua rehti hai phir
ek khaali man mein kisi bhor aane ki umeed de jaati hai..
a zindagi tu kaise kaise imtihaan le jaati hai.....

aaj bhi tu hum se dur ho chali hai...
aaj bhi to humein raaste mein chodh chali hai...
Rahega tera intezaar a zindagi, jab tak yeh saans naa dhali hai...

maa tum kahan ho !!

उस का बच्चा भूखा बैठा हुआ है, उसे जल्दी घर पहुंचना है .सुबह भी तो वोह भागती हुई आई थी .कितना रो था मुन्ना  , पर क्या करे वोह, ३ दिन से बीमार है पर काम पे नही जायेगी तो २ वक़्त का खाना कैसे आएगा . आज भी २ रोटी के लिए तड़प रही है वोह ताकि अपने भूखे  बच्चे को शांत कर सके एक दिन के लिए. 

आज मालकिन के यहाँ बहुत काम है , उनके बेटे का जन्मदिन है , बहुत लोग आयेंगे, बहुत काम होगा.  तभी एक आदमी आया और काम  दे गया, सारे बर्तन धोने हैं, कैसे करे वोह.. सुबह से शाम होने को आई है और अभी तक वोह घर नही पहुँच पायी है.. उसका बच्चा माँ माँ पुकारता हुआ रो रहा होगा . उसे महसूस हो रही है अपने जिगर के टुकड़े की चीख. आज तक कुछ भी तो नही दे पा रही है वो उस नन्हे से जीव को ना खाना , ना प्यार , ना वक़्त . आज अगर उसने यह फैसला ना लिया होता तो उसका बच्चा भूखा नही होता , यह सब तो नियति का खेल है , किसके किस्मत में क्या लिखा है वोह तो ऊपर वाला ही जाने .

तभी एक खेलती हुई बच्ची उसके पास आई , उसका मासूम चेहरे को देख कर वोह कुछ देर के लिए सब भूल गयी और खुद भी थोड़ी  देर के लिए बच्ची बन गयी..तभी उसे ख्याल आया की उसका मुन्ना  भी इतना ही बड़ा है और उसकी एक मुस्कान देखने के लिए तड़प जाती है वोह पर क्या करे आज कैसे घर पहुंचे जल्दी .आज को गंगू मासी भी घर नही गयी होगी , वोह भी बुरे वक़्त से गुजर रही है..कितना सहारा रहता है उसे उनका , एक माँ की कमी पूरी कर देती है वोह , मुन्ने को वोह संभाल लेती हैं शाम को आके ..पर आज दिन अलग है.. उसका दिल भी घबरा रहा है .. काश कोई मेरी स्तिति समझ पाता ..

यहाँ कितना खाना बना है , कितने पकवान बने हैं, लोग कितने खुश हैं , हर तरफ हसी और शोर है . एक रोटी के टुकड़े के लिए मेरा मुन्ना घर पे तड़प रहा होगा... जाने क्यूँ भगवान ऐसे खेल खेलता है ..

तभी एक औरत आई उसके पास और जाने के लिए बोली.. उसे लगा मनो उसे ज़िन्दगी मिल गयी हो.. अब जाके ही खाना बनाएगी वोह और अपने हाथों से मुन्ना को खिलाएगी .पर रात होने को आई है .. खाने का इंतज़ाम कैसे करेगी वोह , अभी इस समय तो बंसी दूकान वाला भी नही खुला होगा . तभी एक आदमी ने अपनी पलते धोने के लिए दी .. कितना खाना  छोड़ा हुआ है .. इतने में तो हम २ दिन चला सकते हैं. कैसे कैसे इंसान होते है दुनिया में.. जिनके पास जो होता है उन्हें उसकी कद्र नही होती. 

क्या करे वोह .. येही खाना  ले जाये घर .. उसका मुन्ना रोयेगा नही.. उसका पेट भी भर जाएगा.. किसी की झूठन उसकी ज़िन्दगी बन सकती है..इसी उलझन में उसके आंसू आ जाते हैं और वोह खाना एक लिफ़ाफ़े में दाल लेती है.

अजीब सा मन लिए हुए घर पहुँचती है, दरवाज़ा खोलती है.. उसका बच्चा बिलक बिलक कर रोते हुए सो चुका है  वोह उसे प्यार से उठाती है फिर सोचती है की ऐसी होती है ज़िन्दगी की मजबूरियाँ की जिनके लिए वोह जीती है उन्ही के लिए उसे वक़्त नही है.. तभी २ कौर मुन्ना के मुह में डालती है .. अपनी माँ को आया देख मुन्ना मुस्कुरा देता है.. ऐसा लगता है मानो इसी पल के लिए वोह जिंदा बचा हुआ हो.... उसकी मुस्कराहट देख कर उसे लगता है मानो उसमें एक नयी जान आ गयी हो कल का सामना करने की.. उस कल को जो फिर से कोई संघर्ष लेके आएगा उसके और उसके बच्चे के लिए.. यही तो रात के ४-५ घंटे होते जब उसे अपने अन्दर दिल होने का एहसास होता है.. वरना सारे दिन तो  बस वोह एक मजदूर होती है जिनके पास न दिल होता है ... ना आवाज़ ..होता है तो बस भूख  को मिटाने की प्यास ...... 

Shaadi di vadhaiyaan

Hi Reader,

Its really been a long time to talk to you.. I was busy in my boring asusual office life and
didn't find time for myself to spend time with you.Sometimes it becomes really tough to forget everything and do some silly stupid things for yourself or for others.

So here I am again to share my another experience ..
On Jan 20th, I was invited to attend a South Indian Wedding (It was almost a self invitation..because I joined my cousin invitation)
I went to her home to meet her and she decided to took me to wedding (we both don't know who is going to be married but then also we wanted to attend wedding or it was punjabi blood feeling inside us  to have a free grand lunch there).

We received an  invitation card like this :
You are cordially invited to attend wedding with family
                               Ramanan H.J.K.P
                                      weds
                               Geetha J.I.Y.T
(The names were using many characters .. so i am taking intials.. )

Muhurtham Time : 10:00 am  (Thank god it was not morning 6:00 am.. It can be !! )
Then something something.. in curve shaped letters.

It was 9:00 am , i reached at my cousin's place and we both decided ...what not to wear on wedding instead of what to wear (It  normally happens with girls and if there are unexpected and sudden invitations)
It was perfect time to get ready for occassion but as per our Delhi-North Indian Wedding Norms we should be there not late then 12:30 pm .(it should be minimum 2 hours late than official  card timings)
We started our journey towards venue place with a bag full of diapers,biscuits,milk,napkins (for my cousin's son), a bag having cosmectics,tissue paper,one more purse,one more small pouch, jewellery , @#$$%, etc etc. That day, I realised the value of diaper if you hold a small baby wearing a bright new dress.
It was sunday afternoon and we were discussing our favourite topics like food, jewellery, etc.(Wedding Mood) and traffic was same like weekdays.We took left, right then left ... passed so many traffic signal, speed breakers, road bumpers etc etc

Finally we reached there at 12:46 pm sharp (Felt different when we saw extra sharped faces looking towards us in strange manner)The entrance was very beautiful and it was besides a temple so for a minute we got confused between a temple and venue place.It was decorated by garlands and couple name was imprinted on them. (we guessed it was couple name .. it was written in Kannada language)This made us excited  for a while and we both looked each other with a smile. We entered Hall, and saw wedding couple greeting everyone with smiling yet tired faces after all it was their WEDDING.

Bride was looking really beautiful , wearing a blue silk saree and Gold ornaments equal to her weight.
She was looking like a queen wearing flowers.Groom was also looking nice and wearing a very simple silk Kurta with veshti (dhoti). Both were  busy in greeting everyone and collecting gifts.
I was eager to help them in collecting gifts but 3-4 over active persons were there to help them out.

We also brought a gift for them (i still don't know what was inside !!)
(it was GIFT transfer policy we ususually apply in such situations when you don't have time to buy a new one.. Gift Gifted by someone=gift gifted to someone)
By the time we reached stage , we got to know that we are already late as per their South Indian wedding Norms and have only one reason to save us - "Baby was hungry so it took time for us to get  ready "(with extra smiling face )
South Indian Wedding traditional Rituals were over and we became sad when we heard about it.
but still Lunch Serving ritual were there for us (we become really happy because we don't have to show our starving faces anymore)They told us to proceed and we started searching Lunch hall (A human can search better than a RAT or DOG if he is hungry)

Some more sharped faces were standing there and staring us , but we didn't care this time and entered Lunch Hall. Tables and chairs were lined up there in nice summetry and it was looking like a clean Hostel Mess.
We sat there for a while and showed our starving faces ,

a person came near to us and look into our eyes with pity and placed  Banyan leaves in front of us.
I literally jumped from my seat when i saw a line of guys coming towards us and bringing hot food buckets.
They poured 6 types of chutneys in front of us (I can't differentiate them by taste but their colour were surely different)and then they poured chanaa (It looked like choley but yeah taste was not same) ,
seasonal vegetable (still searching name, i think it was kind of mix-veg having unseen vegetables),daal (1 spoon was enough to taste),biryaani (it was ausum),plain rice , puri (no chapati, no roti, no fulka kind of thing) and curd. So, It was really grand feast for us if you have spend morning 6-7 hours without having anything except water.
Then suddenly i asked one person "Spoon ? ". and those sharped faces again stared me with big black eyes.
I looked around myself, everybody was busy eating with hands and
I also started eating with my own menicured hands without looking anywhere.
I finished my meal silently and about to leave my place then again some guys came and placed  a paper plate in front of us and put a dish over it.It looked like "Firni" and poured sweet thick milk (rabri) on it  and called it "paisam" .It was the best part in whole meal and I had it really well.

Then Finally we got up from our place amd threw  plates in basket.
They gave us one coconut, supari and coloured rice before leaving place with good wishes.

It was really a different wedding for me ..without any hip hop dance beats, crowded people, Food war, Bright lights, Standing queues etc.
 It was really a simple way to begin your life filled with wishes and greetings (and gifts too)
Wish them luck after all Marriage is marriage whether you do it in any way :)

At last I wished them : Shaadi di lakh lakh vadhaiyaan !!

Last Night !!

Moon peeking inside my night window

Last Night was different for me..I came from asusual office ay midnight 11'o clock. I was very tired from routine office life..
and was not able to think anything else. I was going through really tough time.. and my mind was full of wierd things ..

As I lie down on  my bed, I faced a small window of my room..Usually i keep curtain on it..
But yesterday it was not covered by curtain.. and I looked outside the window..
It was completly dark like my heart..No light ... No ray of hope...full of dark things that letting me down day by day.
Then i looked up towards the dark sky...I saw something above there...
I saw a moon... a Full white bright moon..., Alone.. but very calm, very patient, very silent....
The moment I stare him (moon).. I forget everything...
I felt myself filled with peace..No tensions, No arguments, No expectations, No targets...
Just me and him watching each other peacefully and telling our feelings..
I don't have to say a word to him... he looked into my eyes.. and took away all my worries in one glance..
He knows everything around me and watching me silently..
He knows whatever happens in dark.. wherever somebody cries... whenever somebody smiles...
yet he is so calm.. as he has kept all these moments inside him.. and showing a brighter side of it ....

Last Night !! I had best sleep after a long time..
I felt myself around me -- a soul full of peace and love !!
I want to say only one word to him --- Thanks !!

Kya woh aayegi !!

Shaam ke 5 baje rahe hain, Mujhe wahan jald se jald pahunchna hai.. Main Bhagaa jaa rha hun... Us raaste ki taraf jiski koi manzil nhi hai.
Akela sa.. Adhura sa... bas ek ashaa liye bhaaga jaa rha hun

"Railway Station, Merrut" Yehi se meri zindagi shuru hui thi aur lagta hai yahin pe aaj iska ant hogaa..
Charo or ek ajeeb sa ehsaas mujhe ghere hue hai...sab log chal rahe hain , par main thehara hua sa ..aankhon mein intezaar liye hue...
Sab tham sa gya hai yahan pe ... shant sa ... thakaa sa man liye hue baith hua hun aaj main yahan pe.
Woh chai bechane waala ladhka mere pass aaya...yeh wohi to hai.. jiske pass chai pi kar maine 5 saal nikaale...par aaj  naa jaane kyun... mere pass kehne ko kuch nhi hai... lagta hai yeh bhi mere andar ki kashmkash ko samjh rha hai...
Woh jaanta hai mujhe.. par aaj main apne aap se hi anjaan hun..begaana sa.. is station pe aaya hun..
Ek Aurat.. saamne ek bacche ko khaana khilaa rhi hai... ek aadmi dusre pe chilaa rha hai... sab apne andar ki bhaav wyakat kar rahe hain..
par mujhe koi farak nhi padh rha... main anjaan hun in sabki zindagiyon se...aur aaj apne aap se bhi ...

Yeh bheedh kuch der ke liye tham jaati hai.. kisi na kisi ka intezaar karte hue.. Mujhe bhi aaj intezaar hai uska..pta nhi woh aayegi bhi ya nhi...aankhein usi ki pyaas liye idhar udhar dekh rhi hain...
Railgaadi ke aane ka waqt ho chala hai... sabki nazarein apni manzil ki or hai...
Har taraf shorgul hona shuru ho gya hai...
Dhimi dhimi khisakti hui aakhir gaadi aa hi gyi....Sab log bhaag rahe hain..
par ab main thehar sa gya hun.. aage kadam hi nhi badh rahe us taraf.. jahan meri nighaahein kuch aur hi bayaan karegi...
Har koi ek dusre se judaa ho rha hai.... ya .. mil rha hai...
Kya aaj woh mujhe milegi ... isi soch mein baitha hun aaj main...
kya woh aaj aayegi... phir se isi railway station pe...
kya woh aaj muskuraayegi... jiski chamak se meri zindagi roshan thi....
Aaj mujhe.. tumhara aur sirf tumhara intezaar hai... yeh khaali man tumhare liye hi tadap rha hai...
Ab to aa jao samne mere... Ab to aa jao saamne mere ...

to be continued ......

I still see her !!!

I am going to her home today  just to see her and want to say a word "Hi" from my side.
I took a bouquet of flowers from road side and reached her home , the routine which I am following from past 23 years.
She opened the door, saw me and went to her room. She didn't bother to look me back and turned her face towards a dark black wall.
I walked at her door and with so many auspicious feelings, i said "Hi" to her. She didn't look back at me .
I left from her home with a bunch of grief and  sorrow inside me which is killing me from past 23 years.

25 years before, It was not like that, we used to smile, we used to laugh, we used to talk with each other.
We were very happy and I was the best sister for her. She was the happiest and beautiful person in my life.
She was luckiest among all... because she always get everything in every phase of her life. She was best daughter and best sister in the world.
On her 24th birthday, She introduced a person named Mike to us. She fall in love with him and after sometime they get married.
They were really a blessed couple and was enjoying their time to its fullest ....
Her husband was a very caring and mature person and she was having a best time of her life.
Then after 2 years of her marriage, She got to know her biggest news... She was going to have a Baby.
She was very happy that day.. and we all celebrated her new upcoming happiness.
We greeted her and gave shower of blessings for her new begining...
It was really a day of dreams... and we are playing a part of her dreams.

On March 14th, night 2'0 clock, I was sleeping at my home and having no idea about my upcoming 24 hours.
Mike knocked my door.. and i got up with a shock..
He took me to his home.. I saw my sister trembling with pain. It was her 2nd month, and we have not expected such pain.
We both ran towards hospital , Nobody was there to attend us..  I was the only senior gynacologist at that time and
I have to handle this emergency case.It was really tough for me...
My hands were shaking...my eyes were sleeping..and I was not able to stand..
I started operating her...
After 2 hours..Her life was slipping from my hands... and I was struggling to caught her in my arms...
I was trying my best to catch a  breath of her... to make her alive...
I was watching two sides of Life and death in front of my eyes....
Suddenly I saw a ray of hope in her eyes. She opened it and spoke her last words to me "Let me go sister"...
and Then I got  a long silence from her side..
I tried really hard to hold her.. but she was gone...she was gone... she left me alone standing there in dark...
That night.. I lost my sister , somebody's wife and my parents daughter.

After this, Mike left that place But I still go to her home with same bouquet of her favourite flowers just to say "Hi" to her.
I still see her in that room... I still feel the scent of her...I still love her... I still believe that one day she will come and hug me.........