Its the beginning !! :)

Around 7 months back..I was not in a state to hold a new life or can start a new beginning.. My father got expired 2 months back and I was in a mourn state. I was not hoping to be myself again and laugh on silly things. I gave up myself to this and just spending time with no ray of hope or dream.

My life got shattered in pieces and whole set of things got disturbed. My perception to see things or people had been changed then.

Then one day.. I felt pain in my stomach and it was unbearable..I got to know that this is labor pain and u need to get hospital as soon as possible. I entered hospital and after suffering from intolerable pain for 5 hours.. I got something in my hands.

At that time ..I was not able to stand on my own or even talk. I was so exhausted to express anything at that time and just let it go. When I woke up and saw a cute little baby laying beside me..I was in a dilemma. In my inner voice..I said.. " Ohh dear..you are a MOM now " and I just smiled.

I saw a life coming up to me .. Holding me..and asking me to live again. In my mind..I was not ready for it to hug him and gave a chance to myself..but still in my heart a little ray of hope rise.

First few days were really tough for me..I was not able to sleep,can't walk even..it really made me tired and exhausted. I did not have a single clue about raising a child. So when I do something whether its feeding or making him sleep.. I found out that I am not one who is raising my child. Rather my child is teaching me with his love to do things for him.

At sometimes..I feel I am not going to be good mother as I did not know anything about motherhood but I was wrong .,once you get hold of those tiny little arms..you become a mother.

After that..day by day..I learn new things from my child and also explore myself in a different way .  I must say..kids are a good teacher..they teach you how to do simple things and stay happy. They teach you about life basic principles is to love everybody whose choose to be with you.

Now..after 7 months..when I hear those giggly laughs, those little hugs coming up to me,those babbling sounds. I laugh, enjoy,even dance and live again. I love those little words come out and talk to me as if they are asking me to be myself.

I gave another chance to new life or maybe life gave me another chance to start a new dream..new hope or just simply smile on it.

A bitter truth !!

Its been a long time for me to write something and publish .. I don't know may be..I didn't get enough courage to publish my thoughts.

Life !! A four letter word but it sums up everything inside of it. To live or to survive ..both are parts of this life. We always live in our dream and try to make it reality...but the whole journey or struggle to get it called LIFE .

In the midst of dark shadows... We always aim to catch light ...to come out of those black space , sometimes we get that spark but sometimes we again drown ourselves in dark black pool.  Its not easy to not able to come out of it and start your journey again with everyone. The problem here is not to get slipped in pool but to come out of it and shine.

And the struggle you do to catch that light behind those closed doors...makes you real person.

But do we realize ...what that person gain or loose during his struggle...

His most precious thing...his loved ones. No one wants to come in dark shadows whether its your husband....your son or your brother. And once they get chance to leave you...they fly back.

I know..it hurts or we can say...its a harsh reality but its truth and we have to face it.

So...the person who come out of that dark pool leaving everything behind and forgiving everyone..becomes a GEM.

And for those who did not succeed,will Rest in Peace.